Finding
Purpose
Successfully
Ordering Your Day!
by Dana Hanley
Three years ago, our family
made the decision for me to
leave the workplace to stay
home. The beginning was very
tough. I struggled with boredom,
lack of direction and lack
of purpose. I truly believed
my children to be more important
than all I gave up, and struggled
with a sense of guilt when
I realized that I really wanted
to return to work. I began
feeling like I was only serving
everyone around me and had
no real sense of my own worth.
I told myself it was just
a matter of time and it would
take care of itself as I got
used to the transition.
I viewed this decision as
an act of obedience to God
to benefit our family. I set
my children as a priority
above myself and reminded
myself that they were worth
the sacrifice when I struggled.
That is not such a bad line
of thinking, but it wasn’t
working for me, and it really
is not scriptural.
God created Adam in the
garden for work. He tended
the garden, took dominion
of the animals and subdued
his environment. Eve was created
from his side to be a help-meet
for him. In other words, Eve
was also created for useful
labor. The dominion mandate
is given before the command
to be fruitful and multiply.
Since God created woman for
this purpose, woman can only
feel truly complete fulfilling
this purpose.
I think too often those
women who make the decision
to leave the workplace fill
their time with entertainment
and child-rearing duties.
Soaps, luncheons, study groups,
play dates and a plethora
of activities fill each day.
Unfortunately, these are only
pastimes and do just that:
pass the time. They do not
minister to the soul, giving
purpose to each day. Take
a look at the Proverbs 31
woman. Her day was not focused
on entertainment, nor her
children, nor fellowship with
other believers. Her day was
filled with useful labor,
and through her Godly example,
her entire family grew spiritually.
I’ve never considered the
price of a vineyard, nor sold
my fine weaving down at the
market, but I have found purpose
in useful work. I have taught
myself to crochet, knit, sew
and can. I have made things
for the children and for presents.
I have tried to find ways
to save money while maintaining
a nutritious diet for our
family. We have virtually
eliminated convenience foods
from the menu and I have been
making our own fresh bread
and recently began making
pasta as well. I have taken
time to work on my writing
since it has always been a
dream of mine to some day
author a book someone would
actually want to purchase.
As of yet, none of this has
actually resulted in an increase
in our family’s income, although
some of it has definitely
saved us some money. I’m working
on that part next.
I think the feminist movement
has denied a good deal of
what it is to be a woman by
denying the innate desire
to be home, raising children.
But I also think the church
has done the same by denying
her desire to work. In reality,
the desire to labor productively
and to rear children are two
halves to the same person.
I think this plays out differently
for each person, but I truly
believe the key for battling
some of the depression and
anxiety that frequently accompanies
the decision to stay home
with children is found in
recognizing God’s plan. We
are created by Him, for Him
and to Him. Our children are
the heritage of the Lord,
and we certainly have a great
responsibility teaching and
leading them, but when they
become the focus of our day,
we step outside what we were
created for. It is not good
for us and it really is not
good for our children, either.
Useful, constructive labor
(not just hobbies) will help
give purpose to each day.
Plus when a woman is successful
in ordering her days according
to this God-given purpose,
“Her children arise up and
call her blessed; her husband
also, and he praiseth her.”
(Proverbs 31:28)
Dana Hanley is a homeschooling
mother of four. She holds
a B.S. in Education from the
University of Kansas, but
feels her true education began
when she began preparing to
homeschool. You can join her
on her journey and learn more
about her thoughts on education
and family life at her blog,
Principled Discovery - http://principleddiscovery.com.
